this is
a pictorial account of the 'bahunewarithakali' wedding of pakku (prakriti
sherchan, my bhanji/niece). these are
images from three days the supari, pre-wedding preparations, and the ceremony
itself. some of the photos taken by
avaya, thus depriving him of being 'hands-free' during his first sasurali
wedding... and some by cholu too!!!
the thakali balika blooms
into a dulahi
pooja's gestures her reaction
when she is told by her aphumuwa that she is not eating enough, and her
'bump' is not showing enough…
rekha the phupu, pretty
in pink…
.. and her daughter mahima
aglow under her rajasthani parasol…
... and the round gogs and
jhumka…
shakeel, the beauty painter
with his latest bridal canvas
... pakku's supari
makeup…
... and hairdo…
... and hairdo…
… even the gazebo dressed
up for the occasion…
... the 'p' sherchan
sisters pooja, prakriti and prarthana…
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... and their phupus…
pakku get a special pedi-paint
from nagini didi
samdhinis.. mami with aphumuwa
all in red-pakku and
her helpers…
... the lady and the idol…
... the lady and the idol…
... it arrives with
fanfare of bandbaja.. first time i have seen a saipata or a supari
accompanied by a band!
…and tons of kistis filled
with goodies, ferried by the relatives...
…nearly five dozen kistis..
with edibles in gigantic 'triple X' sizes!
... and stuff for
the bride…
… nischal's mama and maiju (maternal uncle and aunt) start
the rituals …
... the large lighted sukunda…
…the rituals
continue…
… pakku, the demure 'nearly' bride…
...engrossed in rituals...
asked to see how she looks, in the gifts presented to her by them..
… nischal's mama handing over decked
up supari to the father of the bride. 'now we have built the foundations
of a relationship' is the message ..
... taking prasad from the
ritual…
… parmita and pooja…
…the men in grey on the side…
…the sherchans…
…with the paternal and maternal grandmoms…
… a round of
introductions of key members of the two families..
… lunch time ..
yummy food catered by tukuche thakali kitchen…
… some needed to be coaxed for
lunch!
…others like huku, didn't…
rekha and her 'tukche' culinary team…
…others like huku, didn't…
rekha and her 'tukche' culinary team…
jyoti with padma, prava, mami and bindadidi
...final tika for
the dulaha party by jyoti..
… rashika and mom roshana pucker
up for camera…
…lovely mother and
daughter…
after the guests have gone,
the girls explore the goodies brought for the bride…
…others sit around and
chat…
pakku reads wedding
message from kripa
… outside while girls have
gathered for mehdi (henna).. simran, pakku's youngest cousin, dances delicately and nonstop.. from one
hindi song to the next…
bridal hand in the
making
… and upon completion…
… the young ones are
extra careful with their mehdi'd hands…
...comparing palm notes...
…mahima tried her hand on yashana..
a circle with dots…
…and a more challenging
paisley design on her mom...
…pakku gets her lips touched up by aastha…
… and the girls cheer it
up with sangria…
... the next morning is time for the puja preparations …
including making the matrika… with gobar and dubo
… yes, fragrant gobar (cowdung) !
…sita cleans black til
(sesame) needed for the hom the next day…
…and sabitri bajai
busy making sel for naivedya (edible offering for the gods)
…meanwhile inside, the
girls are pretty busy packing masala into fancy bags to be given to the janti
the next day…
... the men, including
krishna jwain, do some serious digging
work at the jaggey…
… then it's time for the
invocation of the gods to come and bless the wedding..
... the girls have moved
on to pack pakku's suitcases now…
.. and then the
preparations for the swayambar ko
nimta (invitation to the engagement ceremony).. disguised bananas,
coconuts, suparis, janai, misri as well as paan (yup the paans
are the one wearing the umbrellas!)
…in another tray are the
garlands, jhilkey topi, tika and the nimta itself…
…invitation for nischal to
come for the swayambar…
…blessings from deepakbabu
for his chhori…
rajan and cholu (priya)
geta send off from pakku before taking the nimta to nischal
…meanwhile the flowers and
chairs have arrived for the event the next day…
…hundreds of carnations
and marigolds galore…
…covering up the humble tapari
for the janti the next day…
…and finishing touches for
the 'add-on' supari trays to be sent back to nischal's house…
... last minute detailing
for preparations by the byasta bride…
... a little bit of
packing help by a cousin…
... the next
morning.. the stage is set .. from the welcome gates…
... some last minute
decorations by the florist…
... rajan and his mama
decorate the yagya mandap...
… the bride also ready in
her bihey attire…
... the bride's mother also
ready.. smiling along with the flowers and ready to receive guests…
... the relatives
file in and are led for breakfast…
… then the groom
arrives.. decked in fancy daura suruwal and equally jhilkey smile...
… ready for the show..
this picture taken by krishna jwain and the ones following, of the swayambar,
by avaya mostly and cholu too…
nischal's sister and maiju
begin swayambar rituals by invoking the deutas..
…pakku does the 3 pheras
with water…
… nischal tries to add an
inch or two, to make it difficult for pakku to put the garland around his neck!
…the prem ko mala now for pakku…
the ring satasat
…and then a series of pictures of the couple with various parivar members before nischal and his few family members rush back to come again with the janti…
cholu and avaya, married three
months now, under the mid-day sun
… sisters posing under the
welcome banner…
the 'mamaghar' (jyoti's
and pakku's) line
... the ladies' train waiting
to receive the janti…
... the looong buhari
mail… (jyoti second in seniority!)
…and the relatively
short male mail…
… the 'kidijo' daju
bhai..
… plus prithiviji…
… still waiting for
the janti…
… and of course, waiting for gargi too…
… the seated men…
.. more men… sitting…
... some checking the latest
apps…
... and then the janti
arrives with a whole lot of nischal's family (including father and uncle) dancing to the loud music drummed up by the bandbaja …
... taking the heat in the
erstwhile slow-moving , and now standstill groom's car…
deepakbabu's cousins line up
on the steps to see the janti arriving…
... deepakbabu leads
his jwain to the barani site.. nischal, meanwhile follows with amusement
the action to the side as his brothers and relatives play football passing his coveted
shoes from one to the other, while pakku's friends and sisters try to intercept
them…
along with the 'disguised' coconut, there is sikri and ghadi for the jwain too
jwain's turn to put tika on sasura…
... and sasu…
… meanwhile snacks
and drinks roll on below for the guests …
... and at the back…
... dressed in floral
frock, sahara in one of her distracted moments when she goes around picking
flowers …
time for kanyadaan…
a quick affair it was… (camera now in avaya's hands for this ceremony)
... giving the daughter away
into nischal's safe hands…
... cholu goes artistic (the camera now in her hands)… from
in between the garlands the couple listens with interest to rajan's explanation
of what the mantras say.. about conjugal ties and commitments…
after the kanyadaan
and a food break..
…the beautiful
couple…
parmita's turn to be under the
parasol under the tent 'neath the hot may sun
the couple with
pakku's mama and maiju (that's me!)
... and sisters and
prarthana's sisters in law.. notice nischal is slipper- and shoe-less.. any
slippers he wore would do a disappearing act... whether he wore his own, or
someone else's…
with didi and bhinaju
and gargi of course…
…back to the jaggey..
some brotherly help with laba by bibek…
.. yes dear… i will crush
all your enemies…. promises nischal as he touches pakku's feet over the mortar and pestle …
the mandap
... is my lipstick okay, pakku
seems to ask…
nischal's brother jocularly
describes to his aunts and sisters how his hands are shaking after the rough
time he had dealing with pakku's cousins over nischal's shoes…
... and i will crush
and wipe out all fires that may erupt in our lives, nischal seems to say as he snuffs out burning
camphor with pakkus' feet!
remember two things
are important in life.. peace and love.. rajan seems to be telling the couple
(he had in the swayambar mentioned that the ceremony was to foster
'peace, love and joy!')
time for sindoor….
cholu covers pakku's forehead for the procedure…
… and nishal's
sister and maiju get the sindoor box ready…
… nischal starts the trail
of sindoor…
… and applies it on
pakku's siundo (parting)...
… and then the sindure
tika…
... pakku with the sindoor
box in her grip, and a delicately adorned velvety fish covering the recently
applied sindoor on her hair…
... meanwhile nischal's mom is
greeted by mami, as sani maiju looks on…
time to become a bamangi (the left side) .. nischal tries to lift pakku to the left seat…
... he fails.. so
his maiju offers to help.. no thanks.. he says.. but fails again…
... nothing doing, says aunt
and given him a hefty hand…
... and together
they manage to lift pakku to her 'proper' place… his left side
... now please take the seat
next to mine, i will obey you from now on.. pakku is made to implore to her
wedded one !
... okay.. but only after you bow
down to me, is the message.. so pakku complies!
... and so she is then
showered with gifts to show her wedded status.. a tilahari, a mangalsutra,
and a diamond set to top it off…
maur feeding
time… it is supposed to be a competition…
…but it turns tame as
pakku instead of smearing the yogurt all over nischal's face (which she had
license to !) , feeds it in a very ladylike manner…
... and he in gentlemanly
way, reciprocates…
… and the much anticipated tug of war over
1.5 meters of cloth begins between the groom's and the bride's teams.. rajan
gives the rule.. 'no pulling until I say so'…
... but the eagerness to
pull and win already seen on the faces and hands of the two sides…
.. get .. set.. go!' says
rajan.. and the tug of war begins in earnest.
the grooms' side it is obvious, has
managed to mobilise more hands!
... these numerous
hands manage to drag the cloth to their side… the bride's side not giving up…
an aunt who is sitting on the other side is soon going to bear the brunt of her
team's success…
… as cholu (who falls over
the aunt) and sharada still clutch to
the cloth… not letting go…
... dragged down
(over the poor aunt!), but ending up with small scraps nevertheless…
... the aunt finally resurfaces! laughter and
claps.... and a larger swathe trophy for nischal's family..
... but the we still
managed to get this.. cholu says…
ha! but look
at what we got the aunts seem to say…
... yay for you.. but we did manage to
steal this much away from you !!!
... elegant samdhinis
in a row in their banarasi saris and chhadkay tilahari…
time for samdhi
and samdhini bhet… gifts for nishal's parents…
... and hugs…
… then time for the other samdhi
and samdhinis…
... and then mama …
… and maiju…
…time for the jaggey rituals to end... deepakbabu and jyoti..
looking like newlyweds themselves…
'congratulations maiju'-
says samdhini …
... and the
beginning of pakku's bidaai (home-
leaving) ceremony .. a mixture of thakali, bahun and newar traditions… (pheta, tika plus supari!)
it starts with aphumuwa greeting
her grandson-in-law…
... and then
greeting the samdhis…
... followed by the
parents… immediate family and then in a widening circle of other family members…
... all queuing up
according to seniority in relationship…
... the male thakalis
welcome nischal to their brood by giving him a pheta.. yards long… that
is wrapped like a turban on his head.. it seems
if they went by tradition, every family would have given him a pheta
to wear.. thus nischal could have landed up with a huge huge turban.. instead he
ends up with just two.. this blue one…
... and then the green one
on top of it…
... by the time all the
thakali relatives are done with their greetings.. pakku's forehead is almost
covered with tika…
after deepakbabu's relatives
are all done, it is time for jyoti's side of the family.. it starts with muwa
(now 98), pakku's great grand-mom
... and then mami's
turn…
... and then mami's
turn…
... mama...
… maiju…
... sanimas…
... laxmi, who took care of
pakku when young, jumps in…
…didi and bhinaju's
turn …
... cholu and
avaya's turn…
deepakbabu introduces cholu as
the last entrant before pakku to marry a newar…
… a final hug
between the samdhinis…
… and the samdhi
samdhini!
… sahara gets an opportunity
to apply tike on her aunt's forehead…
brother and sister.. glad that
the wedding is done with .. smoothly and joyfully…
pooja and sworupa..
sworupa seems to have set her eyes on another marathon!
... thakali sasura jwain and chhori…
... thakali sasura jwain and chhori…
... before he leaves
a dash of gloss of the glowing groom… (again the camera in avaya's hands)
... final puja …
... and nischal
leads the way with the still burning sukunda…
… auspicious sait
yogurt for the bride…
... then heading for
the car…
... but the path is
not so easy... a host of female cousins block the way demanding 'ransom' money
for the abducted shoes… as well as money from nischal's father for some other
reason!
ransom paid... the couple is
finally ensconced inside the car… and the barat is set to leave…
... final greetings to the
groom's side…
.. and then chilling
out… with guff…
… and chiya…
… and that is how the 'bahunewarithakali' wedding of pakku and nischal went off…
