mero blog: pakku gets wed

this is a pictorial account of the 'bahunewarithakali' wedding of pakku (prakriti sherchan, my bhanji/niece). these are images from three days the supari, pre-wedding preparations, and the ceremony itself. some of the photos taken by avaya, thus depriving him of being 'hands-free' during his first sasurali wedding... and some by cholu too!!!

the thakali balika blooms into a dulahi

my nanda jyoti, the bride of the mother, on the day of the supari

pooja's gestures her reaction when she is told by her aphumuwa that she is not eating enough, and her 'bump' is not showing enough…

rekha the phupu, pretty in pink…

.. and her daughter mahima aglow under her rajasthani parasol…

... and the round gogs and jhumka…

shakeel, the beauty painter with his latest bridal canvas

... pakku's supari makeup…

... and hairdo…

… even the gazebo dressed up for the occasion…

... the 'p' sherchan sisters pooja, prakriti and prarthana…

... and their phupus…

pakku get a special pedi-paint from nagini didi

samdhinis.. mami with aphumuwa

all in red-pakku and her helpers…

... the lady and the idol…

... it arrives with fanfare of bandbaja.. first time i have seen a saipata or a supari accompanied by a band!

…and tons of kistis filled with goodies, ferried by the relatives...

…nearly five dozen kistis.. with edibles in gigantic 'triple X' sizes!

... and stuff for the bride…

… nischal's mama and maiju (maternal uncle and aunt) start the rituals …

... the large lighted sukunda…

…the rituals continue…

… pakku, the demure 'nearly' bride…

...engrossed in rituals...

asked to see how she looks, in the gifts presented to her by them..

decked up with gifted fineries -- more gold, potey, dhago.. garland and the works…

… nischal's mama handing over decked up supari to the father of the bride. 'now we have built the foundations of a relationship' is the message ..

... taking prasad from the ritual…

… parmita and pooja…

…the men in grey on the side…

…the sherchans…

…with the paternal and maternal grandmoms…

… a round of introductions of key members of the two families..

… lunch time .. yummy food catered by tukuche thakali kitchen…

… some needed to be coaxed for lunch!

…others like huku, didn't…

rekha and her 'tukche' culinary team…

jyoti with padma, prava, mami and bindadidi

...final tika for the dulaha party by jyoti..

… rashika and mom roshana pucker up for camera…… rashika and mom pucker up for camera…

…lovely mother and daughter…

after the guests have gone, the girls explore the goodies brought for the bride…

…others sit around and chat…

pakku reads wedding message from kripa

… outside while girls have gathered for mehdi (henna).. simran, pakku's youngest cousin, dances delicately and nonstop.. from one hindi song to the next…

bridal hand in the making

… and upon completion…

… the young ones are extra careful with their mehdi'd hands…

...comparing palm notes...

…mahima tried her hand on yashana.. a circle with dots…

…and a more challenging paisley design on her mom...

…pakku gets her lips touched up by aastha…

… and the girls cheer it up with sangria…

... the next morning is time for the puja preparations … including making the matrika… with gobar and dubo...

… yes, fragrant gobar (cowdung) !

…sita cleans black til (sesame) needed for the hom the next day…

…and sabitri bajai busy making sel for naivedya (edible offering for the gods)

…meanwhile inside, the girls are pretty busy packing masala into fancy bags to be given to the janti the next day…

... the men, including krishna jwain, do some serious digging work at the jaggey…

… then it's time for the invocation of the gods to come and bless the wedding..

... the girls have moved on to pack pakku's suitcases now…

.. and then the preparations for the swayambar ko nimta (invitation to the engagement ceremony).. disguised bananas, coconuts, suparis, janai, misri as well as paan (yup the paans are the one wearing the umbrellas!)

…in another tray are the garlands, jhilkey topi, tika and the nimta itself…

…invitation for nischal to come for the swayambar…

…blessings from deepakbabu for his chhori…

rajan and cholu (priya) geta send off from pakku before taking the nimta to nischal

…meanwhile the flowers and chairs have arrived for the event the next day…

…hundreds of carnations and marigolds galore…

…covering up the humble tapari for the janti the next day…

…and finishing touches for the 'add-on' supari trays to be sent back to nischal's house…

... last minute detailing for preparations by the byasta bride…

... a little bit of packing help by a cousin…

... the next morning.. the stage is set .. from the welcome gates…

... some last minute decorations by the florist…

... rajan and his mama decorate the yagya mandap...

… the bride also ready in her bihey attire…

... the bride's mother also ready.. smiling along with the flowers and ready to receive guests…

... the relatives file in and are led for breakfast…

… then the groom arrives.. decked in fancy daura suruwal and equally jhilkey smile...

… ready for the show.. this picture taken by krishna jwain and the ones following, of the swayambar, by avaya mostly and cholu too…

nischal's sister and maiju begin swayambar rituals by invoking the deutas..

…pakku does the 3 pheras with water…

… nischal tries to add an inch or two, to make it difficult for pakku to put the garland around his neck!

…the prem ko mala now for pakku…

the ring satasat

…and then a series of pictures of the couple with various parivar members before nischal and his few family members rush back to come again with the janti…

cholu and avaya, married three months now, under the mid-day sun

… sisters posing under the welcome banner…

the 'mamaghar' (jyoti's and pakku's) line

... the ladies' train waiting to receive the janti…

... the looong buhari mail… (jyoti second in seniority!)

…and the relatively short male mail…

… the 'kidijo' daju bhai..

… plus prithiviji…

… still waiting for the janti…

… and of course, waiting for gargi too…

… the seated men…

.. more men… sitting…

... some checking the latest apps…

... and then the janti arrives with a whole lot of nischal's family (including father and uncle) dancing to the loud music drummed up by the bandbaja …

... taking the heat in the erstwhile slow-moving , and now standstill groom's car…

deepakbabu's cousins line up on the steps to see the janti arriving…

... deepakbabu leads his jwain to the barani site.. nischal, meanwhile follows with amusement the action to the side as his brothers and relatives play football passing his coveted shoes from one to the other, while pakku's friends and sisters try to intercept them…

along with the 'disguised' coconut, there is sikri and ghadi for the jwain too

jwain's turn to put tika on sasura…

... and sasu…

… meanwhile snacks and drinks roll on below for the guests …

... and at the back…

... dressed in floral frock, sahara in one of her distracted moments when she goes around picking flowers …

time for kanyadaan… a quick affair it was… (camera now in avaya's hands for this ceremony)

... giving the daughter away into nischal's safe hands…

... cholu goes artistic (the camera now in her hands)… from in between the garlands the couple listens with interest to rajan's explanation of what the mantras say.. about conjugal ties and commitments…

after the kanyadaan and a food break..

…the beautiful couple…

parmita's turn to be under the parasol under the tent 'neath the hot may sun

the couple with pakku's mama and maiju (that's me!)

... and sisters and prarthana's sisters in law.. notice nischal is slipper- and shoe-less.. any slippers he wore would do a disappearing act... whether he wore his own, or someone else's…

with didi and bhinaju and gargi of course…

…back to the jaggey.. some brotherly help with laba by bibek…

.. yes dear… i will crush all your enemies…. promises nischal as he touches pakku's feet over the mortar and pestle …

the mandap

... is my lipstick okay, pakku seems to ask…

nischal's brother jocularly describes to his aunts and sisters how his hands are shaking after the rough time he had dealing with pakku's cousins over nischal's shoes…

... and i will crush and wipe out all fires that may erupt in our lives, nischal seems to say as he snuffs out burning camphor with pakkus' feet!

remember two things are important in life.. peace and love.. rajan seems to be telling the couple (he had in the swayambar mentioned that the ceremony was to foster 'peace, love and joy!')

time for sindoor…. cholu covers pakku's forehead for the procedure…

… and nishal's sister and maiju get the sindoor box ready…

… nischal starts the trail of sindoor…

… and applies it on pakku's siundo (parting)...

… and then the sindure tika…

... pakku with the sindoor box in her grip, and a delicately adorned velvety fish covering the recently applied sindoor on her hair…

... meanwhile nischal's mom is greeted by mami, as sani maiju looks on…

time to become a bamangi (the left side) .. nischal tries to lift pakku to the left seat…

... he fails.. so his maiju offers to help.. no thanks.. he says.. but fails again…

... nothing doing, says aunt and given him a hefty hand…

... and together they manage to lift pakku to her 'proper' place… his left side

... now please take the seat next to mine, i will obey you from now on.. pakku is made to implore to her wedded one !

... okay.. but only after you bow down to me, is the message.. so pakku complies!

... and so she is then showered with gifts to show her wedded status.. a tilahari, a mangalsutra, and a diamond set to top it off…

maur feeding time… it is supposed to be a competition…

…but it turns tame as pakku instead of smearing the yogurt all over nischal's face (which she had license to !) , feeds it in a very ladylike manner…

... and he in gentlemanly way, reciprocates…

… and the much anticipated tug of war over 1.5 meters of cloth begins between the groom's and the bride's teams.. rajan gives the rule.. 'no pulling until I say so'…

... but the eagerness to pull and win already seen on the faces and hands of the two sides…

.. get .. set.. go!' says rajan.. and the tug of war begins in earnest. the grooms' side it is obvious, has managed to mobilise more hands!

... these numerous hands manage to drag the cloth to their side… the bride's side not giving up… an aunt who is sitting on the other side is soon going to bear the brunt of her team's success…

… as cholu (who falls over the aunt) and sharada still clutch to the cloth… not letting go…

... dragged down (over the poor aunt!), but ending up with small scraps nevertheless…

... the aunt finally resurfaces! laughter and claps.... and a larger swathe trophy for nischal's family..

... but the we still managed to get this.. cholu says…

ha! but look at what we got the aunts seem to say…

... yay for you.. but we did manage to steal this much away from you !!!

... elegant samdhinis in a row in their banarasi saris and chhadkay tilahari…

time for samdhi and samdhini bhet… gifts for nishal's parents…

... and hugs…

… then time for the other samdhi and samdhinis…

... and then mama …

… and maiju…

…time for the jaggey rituals to end... deepakbabu and jyoti.. looking like newlyweds themselves…

'congratulations maiju'- says samdhini …

... and the beginning of pakku's bidaai (home- leaving) ceremony .. a mixture of thakali, bahun and newar traditions… (pheta, tika plus supari!)

it starts with aphumuwa greeting her grandson-in-law…

... and then greeting the samdhis…

... followed by the parents… immediate family and then in a widening circle of other family members…

... all queuing up according to seniority in relationship…

... the male thakalis welcome nischal to their brood by giving him a pheta.. yards long… that is wrapped like a turban on his head.. it seems if they went by tradition, every family would have given him a pheta to wear.. thus nischal could have landed up with a huge huge turban.. instead he ends up with just two.. this blue one…

... and then the green one on top of it…

... by the time all the thakali relatives are done with their greetings.. pakku's forehead is almost covered with tika…

after deepakbabu's relatives are all done, it is time for jyoti's side of the family.. it starts with muwa (now 98), pakku's great grand-mom

... and then mami's turn…

... mama...

… maiju…

... sanimas…

... laxmi, who took care of pakku when young, jumps in…

…didi and bhinaju's turn …

... cholu and avaya's turn…

deepakbabu introduces cholu as the last entrant before pakku to marry a newar…

… a final hug between the samdhinis…

… and the samdhi samdhini!

… sahara gets an opportunity to apply tike on her aunt's forehead…

brother and sister.. glad that the wedding is done with .. smoothly and joyfully…

pooja and sworupa.. sworupa seems to have set her eyes on another marathon!

... thakali sasura jwain and chhori…

... before he leaves a dash of gloss of the glowing groom… (again the camera in avaya's hands)

... final puja …

... and nischal leads the way with the still burning sukunda…

… auspicious sait yogurt for the bride…

... then heading for the car…

... but the path is not so easy... a host of female cousins block the way demanding 'ransom' money for the abducted shoes… as well as money from nischal's father for some other reason!